Tale 29
That Man's Sitting Out There and Is Gold!
personal
gift to Fred Waring from American cartoonist Milton Caniff
Fred’s world
was one of ‘Old Boys’
par excellence[1]
"I was provoking your
self-importance," [don Juan] ...said with a frown.
"Self-importance is our greatest enemy."[2]
Bill passed mj
another one of his corny press gimmicks for Grand Podunk radio
stations that served conservative, tradition-loving Americans
with music:
WARING-OGRAPHY QUIZ [3]
1. What long
time orchestra and choral leader was the first to use an
electric microphone in a recording session?
"Mj," he
said..... "Now... I'll tell you a story... about the famous Fred Waring,... that shows
you a kind of insecurity
in the man."
Maybe Bill knew
where the memory boat needed to go. Betty Ann had climbed
aboard ages ago, and happily.
Little Mark was
crying in bed and she got up to check, distracting Bill.
No one talked.
The tape spun.
Where were they
headed? Where was the other shore? What shore were they
seeking?
Should Bill
Blackburn be captain?
Mj made a
little more commitment. He climbed on board MENTALLY,
finally, with his horns, maw, hooves, bloody banderillas,
stuffed upset rumen and all, to go along with Hercules and
Earth Goddess in their memory boat. But the commitment was
still a little wobbly.
2. What was
the name of the tune, and in what year was it recorded?
Captain Bill
sensed the change in mj and grabbed the oars. "I came up here
to see Fred about doing more records." He was excited.
"And I had an idea about this 'World Chorus' thing. I
wanted to talk
to him about it. I really wanted that goin'!"
3. For what
record company was it recorded?
"I suddenly
thought, 'Geez, that man's sitting out there and is gold!' All you have to do
is get him on television. And it
shouldn't be that difficult, if ya pulled
it right. And this 'World Chorus' thing would put him back
before the world, and I would be
sitting on top of the World!
The credit that you brought a Fred Waring back to television should be
enough to open the doors, right?"
"Mm." Mj didn't
know, really.
4. Name three
of the six record companies Fred Waring has recorded for.
"So I came up
to see him
and I got the runaround. On Friday I arrived." Bill
sensed discomfort in his audience and looked at mj. "Right?"
You had to keep
an initiate awake and interested. No slumbering.
"I didn't have
an appointment
with him. I thought I did!"
Bill hauled on
the oars, building momentum. "Clyde Sechler'd said, 'I talked
to the Old Man, 'n he wants to talk t'you.'
I'd seen Clyde in
5. What was
the name of the first tune George Gershwin had recorded, and
who was the artist?
"So I came up t'see him
and, y'know Fred wasn't he-ere." Bill
practically whined. "I said, 'What kindofa—,' I said, 'I'm
goin' back to the city'!"
...Think about it...
[don Juan continued] what weakens us is feeling offended by
the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men....[4]
"And
"So I said,
'Fine'." Bill sounded hurt. Miffed.
Where were
they? Where were they going?
6. What was
the first recording made with a vocal chorus and who was the
artist?
"Well, Friday
night
"I said, 'Well
Clyde, ya know, I don't have forever'."
Mj yawned,
tired and bored with fog.
Bill whispered
conspiratorially. "He said, 'I'll talk to him tomorrow.
I'll see
him.'
"I said, 'Allright.
When are ya gonna be
there?'
"Says, 'In the
morning. I play golf with
'im'."
Bill restrained
impatience. "'Fine'."
7. What was
one of the first three band names used by the group of four
talented young men who later became Pennsylvanians?
"He comes back.
'Y'know I
never got to mention it.'
"I said, '
"Cause I had
discussed it with
8. While at
"Mm hmm." The
interviewer ruminated on the void.
"So Saturday
afternoon there was something I was invited to." Bill sighed,
growing weary like his audience. "And I went to this thing,
and
9. Name two
of the major sponsors for Fred Waring's Radio or TV shows.
"So I said to
someone," Bill acted decided, "'Is there a workshop session tonight?' I
was really boiling.
"And they said,
'Yeh.'
"And I said,
'Fred will be there?'
"And they said,
'Yeh.'
"I said, 'I'm goin'! Will somebody
give me a lift?' I didn't have a
car."
10. With
which U.S. President was Fred Waring closely associated?
Mj dozed and
fell overboard into the briny sea of rocking, foggy, fact and
fancy.
"W'lanyway."
He kept his
eyes open and pretended to be interested.
"I got over to
the Workshop that night and here's Fred, and when this
session's over he walked outside. And
he says, 'Bill, what are you doing
here'?"
Fred Waring's
voice hit like cold water and woke mj up for a second.
"I says, 'I'm tryin' to see you for three
days, that's
what I'm doin' here.' I was really irritated. I thought this
was all Fred, y'know. I thought
Fred was
giving
11. What TV
comedy star received his first radio exposure on the Fred
Waring Show?
"He said, '
"I said, 'Well
some kinda
bull shit is going on. I spent two days here with this—. May I
talk to you’?
"'About what'?"
"'I thought
maybe we should do some more records. I have an idea I'd like
to go over with you’.
"'Well, I'm
busy tonight'."
12. What
symphony conductor started his musical career as Fred
Waring's assistant?
Mj
doggy-paddled then dozed off again, thanks to the hypnotizing
rhythm of Bill's voice and the handout.
"And I was just
about to explode.
I thought, 'Here we go, he's givin' me the
runaround, he's not
gonna bullshit me,' y'know, 'n thassa
way I felt.
"And he said,
'Eleven o'clock tomorrow morning.' – And that's a Sunday! – 'Can you be
at my house?'
"And I said,
'Yes I can.'
"And
“Our self-importance
requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”
....[5]
The pop in the
mouth woke mj again for a moment and he chortled.
"But I'm stayin' with
13. What is
the name of Fred Waring's theme song?
"I go up to Hillbrow with
"He said, ‘I'm
goin' to a meeting.
Fred has asked me to go to a meeting’. That morning
Fred had called him at Hillbrow.
"I said, 'With
me’?
"'Yeh’.
"I said,
'Whudda you
got to be there for’? By now I'm about ready to pop him in the
mouth 'n everybody else.
I'm really bugged."
14. How many
years has Fred Waring been in show business?
"He says, 'Well'," Bill
spoofed an exaggerated Waring devotee, "'when the boss calls, I gotta go’!
"And I says, 'Fine’.
Mj snickered
and a banderilla shook loose.
In the corner
of the
To-oooo, the ta-bles down at Mo-ry's!...[6]
Bill breathed
deeply. "So I get down there, 'n he's got this guy from KSOO
who's a beautiful old man, old ex-disc-jockey, as his Public
Relations man." Bill sighed. "Ray Loftesness. He's got Paul
Waring, his son. He's got Clyde Sechler, I think Ray
Schroeder. All I know is, he's got this famous –. You were at
his house at our wedding. You know that big round table?"
Tooo, the place where Lou-eee dwells,...
Tooo, the dear old Tem-ple Bar we love so
well,...
"Mm huh."
Sing... the Whif-fen-poofs as-sem-bled
With their glass-es raised on high,
And the mag-ic of their sing-ing casts its
spell....
"The table is
set up with note pads," Bill said.
Now a baritone
crooned a solo.
Yes, the mag-ic of their sing-ing...
The baritone
soloist was Bing Crosby.
Of the songs we love so well,...
Girls oohed, a
guitar plucked.
"And I said to
him, 'Well, what I wanted to talk to you about, I've already
talked to one
of you people about’. And I said, 'It's an idea I don't want
to get out’.
"Shall I Wasting,"…
They drank to
their songs.
…and "Mavourneen," and the rest,
Ooo-ooo-ooooo....
"And Fred said,
'These are my advisers'!" Bill acted pompous.
"Well, I'd
never dealt
indirectly with this man. The only other man I ever dealt with,
really other than Fred,
was
"He said,
'Ah,.. how's your wife,
"Y'know. And he
goes through this whole thing. And I'd
been waiting since Friday morning to see this man,
and I'm really boiled
over this damn thing." Bill laughed. "I'm sittin' at the other
end of the table!"
He did a
patronizing Fred: "'Now what can I do for you,
Bill? I don't have a lot of time’.
"And I'd started the
conversation!... I says, 'I don't have a lot of time either, and I've waited three days to
see you, and now we've spent time here talkin' about wives 'n
stuff'.
"'N Fred says,
'Well g-get on with the business, get on with it’.
"Just slapped
it off. I was tryin' to really zing 'er in there."
Bill laughed at his younger, angrier, ego-ridden self.
He sat up
respectfully and savored a sip, bracing for the role he was
about to play, of a younger Bill Blackburn struggling with his
own impatience and pride and Fred’s intransigence. "Ah," I
said, 'I think it's time we should do a record again.
You haven't had any records’.
Bing and the
Pennsylvanians hit it in loud unison:
We will serenade our Lou-eee! While life and
voice shall last!...
"'Why should I
do a record with you'?"
"I said,
'Because, I think, we can do the best’.
"'What kind of
record you talkin' about'?"
...Then we'll pass and be forgotten...,
Bing crooned
mournfully.
…With the rest....
Bill was a
respectful young
"'Country Western'!" Fred was
puzzled, skeptical.
"And I said,
'Yeh’.
"He said, 'What
makes you think I should do that’?
"And I said,
'Well, I don't think Rock
is the right place for you to go. You can't do the old
fashioned "You and the Night and the Music," it's not gonna
sell. Country
is hot right
now. It's the type of music that can lend itself to chorus very well, and I can
hear the Pennsylvanian sound with ah,
Country songs very easily’.
The song’s
chorus was tastefully woeful. Bing, with a harmoniously
bleating flock to back him, crooned like a stray ram who knew:
We're pooooor little laaambs
Who have laaaust our waaay:
Baah, BAAAH, Baah!
Ewes aahed and
oohed after the rams:
We're littlllle, black sheeep
Who have gaaaune astraaay:
Baah ( 'doo, doo'),
Baah, ('doo, doo'),
Baah...
Unaccompanied
rams blatted a lusty crescendo:
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-
Gen,-tlemen song,-sters off, on a spree!!
(Naïve celesta ornamentation...)
Doomed from here to e-ter-ni-teey!!
(Celesta again,
celestially...)
Bill chose a
patronizing, mocking tone for Fred: "He says, 'Oh, real-ly,
"the Pennsylvanian sound" you hear. Pray tell,
Bill, what is "the Pennsylvanian sound"’?!"
The glee club,
still without accompaniment, slowed and intoned pianissimo,
hooked on Fred for every rubato shift:
Lord,...... have-mer-......
cy-on-such-as...... we!...
Bill was
respectful. "I said, 'Your two hands. That's
what the sound of the Pennsylvanians
is'!"
There were two
innocent celesta notes
. . . , , .;
. . , . . : !!
"Well that did it!! That
man sat there and he was DUMB-founded. He had no answer for this. Well
he got up and got out of the room with his robe on, and
came in back in a minute with his shirt and pants on!!"
"Pmphhh!" mj
reacted.
...Baah,
Doo-doo-doo, Baah,
Doo-doo-doo, Baah...
A heavenly
celesta interlude shepherded angelic lambs toward a final
chorus.
"And he sat
down because he had to think this thing out, you see. He came back. And he
said, 'OK, so we do –’." Bill impersonated a curious Fred:
"What kind of airplay'? He said," Bill frowned an
imperious Waring frown, "'Who would play that’!?"
"And I said,"
Bill was sincere, "'A lot of people,
middle of the road
stations’.
"So he turns
and he says to this Ray Loftesness, whose only job in radio
had been K S O O, in
"Now this is what I
think really impressed this man. And that's when, at Decca
Records I was the Promotion Director of the company. And I had
just won this award as National Promotion Director of the Year. And I
thought, 'I'm READy! I'll come up here
and I'll hit
'im’! –....
"Well, he says,
'Now wait a minute, wait a minute, Bill’. He says, 'I have
a... ex-pert,
I want his advice on this’.
"I says, 'Who's
that’?
"And he says,
'Ray Loftesness. You may not know it, but he's one of the
finest radio promotion men in the business’.
"And I leaned
forward and I said, 'No, he's not, I am’.
"He said, 'Who
says so’?
"I said, 'The
Industry. I was the National Promotion Man of the Year last year.
Am I right, Ray’?
"And Ray said,
'Yes. He was’.
"And I said,
'And you mean to tell me you're going to ask that man, to tell
me’?
"And Fred said,
"Okay," and Bill did a high-nosed, arrogant Fred, "'National
Promotion Man of the Year, tell me, how do I get airplay’?!
"And I says, 'I
get on the phone, you've got airplay’! Bill was firm and
respectful. He did not lose his dignity and react all offended
by Fred’s abusive style.
"And boy!" Bill
clapped. "He said, 'Fine,
let's do
it’!
"And from that
point on, that man, I had him right –. You know, he liked that. He
liked that!"
Glee club rams,
Bing Crosby in the foreground, repeated the lusty chorus from
the crescendo.
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-GEN,
-tlemen SONG, -sters
OFF, on-a
Doomed from here
to eter- ni- ty!
They softened
to a mezzoforte, oohing and aahing behind Bing’s
friendly baritone as solo:
Lord, have mercy... on such as we!...
Mj was
impressed but drowning. He said, "This was before he hired you
full time."
"Yes, I was
still at Decca. What occurred was, he said, 'Shall we do this
at Decca’? that day. And the last company that wanted Fred was
Decca, you see, and he had a deal with Decca. He said, 'Should
we –'?" Fred sounded more polite now.
"And I said, 'No, we shouldn't’.
“‘Why not’?
“And I said,
‘Because I think Decca's going to use you’.
"He said, ‘Who
should we do it with’?
"I said, 'I'll
find some
record company’.
"He said, 'Well
my manager, Murray Luth, tells me no other record company wants me'!"
Bill glanced aside, as if Fred had looked at someone in the
room.
"And I said,
'Well he's lying. I'll find you a
record deal'." Bill was firm and fatherly.
"And Fred said,
'You'll find
me a record deal'!" The tone was mocking; adolescent.
"And I said,
'Yeah, I'll find
one'." Bill was young manhood itself, sober and indefatigable.
He had obviously been fathering adolescent Fred back in the
early years that he worked for him. "'If I go there and I say
I have Fred Waring and I'll get him airplay, they'll believe me’.
Because I had just won this award, you
know. It's logical, isn't it?"
Mj nodded,
pondering. He had to stay afloat. He peered into the brine,
seeking a buoy.
Fred was
respectful. "He says, 'Well, how do we get off Decca’?
"And I said,
'I'll talk to your lawyer’. So I talked to his
lawyer.
"And I went off
and got him the best
record
deal," Bill landed emphatically on the
words, "he had ever had in his
life! Better than the
ones he had when he was on top,
percentages and all this. With MEGA. And I
came back again and I had to meet this meeting again.
"And I finally
laid the law
down. I said, 'Mr. Waring, if I'm gonna
have to deal through this "Board of Directors," I don't
want to deal
any longer’.
"The next time
I saw him we were alone.
Nothin' more was said!"
...Baah (doo-doo-doooo), Baaah
(doo-doo-doooooo),... Baaah!
A celesta
chimed innocently. There was an understated, vapid coda, soft
and tasteful as a nice fraternity burp.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-Baaaaaaaaaaahhh.
Mj spotted
driftwood and grabbed it. He said, "The way I react to that,
you were like a father. You were firm. You were putting him in
his place, with his sarcasm."
Bill said, "But
not in a nasty way."
"No," said mj,
clinging to flotsam, which appeared to be a father theory,
"the way a good father would put a disrespectful, adolescent
son in his place, respectfully but with firmness. And I don't
think there's anybody that would do that for Fred, except
maybe..." He thought about it.
"Somebody,"
Bill tried, "that really impressed
him."
Mj felt he was
in over his head. "How about women who are devoted to him?
Maybe a wife could do it once in awhile." He almost had it,
maybe, but felt he had probably blown it somehow.
And he had.
He'd lost Bill with that far-fetched guess.
"Now!" Bill said, ready to move on.
"But that,"
mj said, flailing, befuddling himself further, "would be more
like a mother doing it!" This idea seemed absurd even
to him, and he
drifted off again.
"The new seers
recommended that every effort should be made to eradicate
self-importance from the lives of warriors. I have followed
that recommendation, and much of my endeavors with you has
been geared to show you that without self-importance we are
invulnerable."[7]
Mj almost had
nailed it. Bill was acting like a good firm father to a
spoiled, adolescent Fred, the brilliant teenage creative
genius, whose father had deserted him in his youth, and whose
mother had overcompensated by indulging him; a Fred who had
been so hurt in his youthful years by paternal desertion and
maternal overindulgence he had never grown up past
adolescence. Fred Waring’s emotional growth had been arrested
in his youth. Bill had figured out how to deal with the
adolescent neurosis, by some method mj could not decipher, one
that had nothing to do with psychoanalysis, father complexes,
or mother complexes. He had kept Fred in the palm of his hand
for a few years. He had just said so himself.
All they had to
do was figure out how Bill’s plan for dealing with Fred had
gone wrong, and fix it. Get it back on track.
With someone
like Bill, though, you had to keep it simple, solid and
heroic; deliver it in a one-two punch to the jaw; get his
attention and respect, no fancy footwork. Mj had his attention
for a second, but blew it with badly timed crapola about a
strong and parental woman. The twist had merit, maybe; but it
was too far afield and off the subject for a man like Bill,
when no woman was a part of the discussion. And it failed to
gain his attention or respect.
WARING-OGRAPHY
QUIZ
ANSWER SHEET
1. Fred
Waring and the Pennsylvanians.
2.
"Collegiate" - 1925
3. Victor
Talking Machine Company
4. (a) Victor
Talking Machine Company; (b) RCA (c) Decca (d) Capitol (e)
Reprise (f) Mega
5. "
6. "Sleep" -
Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians
7. (a)
"Banjazzatra" (b) Waring-McClintock Snap Orchestra (c)
Waring's Banjo Orchestra
8.
Architecture
9. (a) Old
Gold (b) Ford (c) Chesterfield (d) General Electric
10. Dwight D.
Eisenhower
11. Milton
Berle
12. Robert
Shaw -
13. "Sleep"
14. 58 years,
as of touring season 1972-73 [8]
[1] The musical women in
the chorus or band Fred would always refer to, whether
directly or indirectly, as ‘the girls’. And –
as the ‘Credits’ section
of the ‘Year
56’ program booklet (Fall 1972 to Spring 1973) reveals – there
were only two positions for women, ‘Assisting’, and ‘Costume
Design/Supervision’. All of the rest of Waring’s world was a
man’s world, as the cartoons given to Fred reveal too,
except that wives and children would appear in the wings
sometimes, and beautiful young women were alluded to often.
Dr. Lorenzo said he decided not to photograph 90% of the
lovely drawn nudes the cartoonists had given Fred as
thank-you for his hospitality at the Inn, and most of the
10% he did photograph were not appropriate for the present
work either, even though they were ‘a little less salacious’
than the 90%. As the present cartoon suggests, as well as
several others included in the present work, beautiful
scantily clad women were a frequent item of discussion among
the ‘Old Boys’ of Waring’s world, including artists,
musicians, guests, golfers, etc. The present cartoon, not
surprisingly, therefore, in keeping with the ‘Old Boys’
theme of the present chapter, suggests a wardrobe and chair
and movie camera for the hosts of a (fantasy?) poolside
bathing suit beauty parade at Shawnee Inn. It reads: “June
3: Megaphone, Norfolk jacket, Turtleneck sweater, Riding
pants and Puttees – Crop, etc.,...”... “Fred – Suggestion
for Gag Cameraman and Old-Time Director to be ‘Covering’ our
Bathing Suit Parade around the pool... Best Wishes –
[2] Castaneda, The Fire from Within, p. 12.
[3] Excerpted from Bill Blackburn's 'Fred Waring Press Book', a promotional kit he mailed to USA radio stations in any town where a live Fred Waring road-show concert was about to occur, to be read over the air to help drum up enthusiasm and sell tickets.
[4] Castaneda, loc cit.
[5] Ibid. The Mexican Yaqui-tribe shaman/seer don Juan is instructing Carlos Castaneda in how to master the ‘warrior’ technique of ‘awareness’, in “Petty Tyrants,” Chapter 2 of The Fire from Within.
[6]
"The
Whiffenpoof Song," by George S. Pomeroy, Meade
Minnigerode, and Fred B. Galloway, revised lyric by Rudy
Vallee (these are the credits given on the record by
Decca: The Best of
Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians). In 2018 Dr.
Lorenzo wrote to the editorial board of the present work:
“For anyone who loves the memories evoked by college male
glee club singing, this is the ultimate recording of the
ultimate song, ‘The Whiffenpoof Song’, which originated
from the ultimate glee club school, Yale, sung by the
ultimate male tippler crooner, Bing Crosby, and delivered
to perfection by the ultimate 20th century glee
club, Fred Waring and The Pennsylvanians. The song itself
is about
tippling in a bar, while glee-club singing: IN A BAR,
called Mory’s. Two traditional men’s glee club songs are
named in the song: ‘Shall I Wasting’, from a poem written
in
[7] Castaneda, loc cit. See footnote 5 above.
[8] This ‘press
release’ of Bill’s may have been a preliminary draft, as yet
unedited and uncorrected for errors. The dates for question
14 do not jive with our dates in the present work. But in
truth, it is very difficult to keep track of just exactly
which year was the fiftieth, which the fifty-eighth, etc. So
we do not claim to have nailed such dates with perfection,
and will stick to our schema only as a likely approximation.
According to our schema, the answer to question 14, “How
many years has Fred Waring been in show business?” if asked
during the “1972-73 season,” should be "55" or “56.” See Bibliography
for notes on the 50th
Anniversary Program.